I’ve been wanting to write this one for a while. This topic actually occurred to me in the middle of the night – I had woken up and wasn’t able to fall asleep because I had what felt an impossible amount of work the next time. As I laid in bed thinking how to tackle every task I realized that half of these tasks weren’t actually necessary and even, beyond what was agreed on – meaning I was tying myself to tasks that I was going to do just because I didn’t say no from fear or disappointing someone. There was a stretch early in my business not so long ago when I noticed this pattern. I was doing all the right things, showing up on time, replying promptly, being flexible, saying yes even if meant losing on something else. I wasn’t tired from the creative work itself. But I was getting tired from managing everyone else’s expectations before I even looked at my own needs. That continued for a while.
People-pleasing tendencies don’t always look dramatic. A lot of times, they’re hiding in the quiet moments between big tasks. Saying yes to a new project even when your calendar is full. Offering to redo something that wasn’t wrong, just not exactly what someone had in mind. Apologizing for things that don’t need apologies. These behaviours chip away at the space you need to do your best work.
For many small business owners, especially in a service-based business, this pattern starts early. We’re told that good customer service means never letting anyone down. Saying yes no matter what, and then figuring it out later. That we should always go the extra mile, even if it means putting the needs of others ahead of our own boundaries. The result? A creative business that looks good from the outside but doesn’t feel good on the inside. And while that may work for a short time many of us get used to delivering this and then it’s really hard to stop. So, let’s talk about how to fix it.
The First Step: Noticing
The first step for me was simply noticing when I was saying yes out of a strong desire to avoid disappointing someone, not because I actually had capacity or within scope. It wasn’t about low self-worth or lack of confidence. It was about deeply ingrained people-pleasing behaviours that had followed me from my personal life into my business life.
I realized I’d spent a long time being the “good client,” the “good collaborator,” the “good friend,” quietly molding myself around others’ needs. And while kindness is never a bad thing, it can easily become a coping mechanism. One that hides a fear of rejection or a fear of being seen as difficult.
It took time, but I began to recognize that disappointing someone doesn’t make you a bad person or a bad service provider. It’s not a failure. It’s simply an outcome of living in alignment with your own needs.
Creating Healthy Boundaries That Support Growth
Sustainable business growth requires healthy work boundaries. It means knowing when an unreasonable request needs to be met with a kind no. It means being clear about your hourly rate, your timeline, and your own top priorities, not just bending to fit someone else’s.
A lot of people equate healthy boundaries with being cold or difficult. But in truth, they’re one of the best ways to create trust and clarity with your clients. You teach people how to work with you. You model what good client relationships look like.
And here’s the good news: setting boundaries doesn’t have to be a big leap. It can start with small steps. A polite pause before replying. A thoughtful response that honours both the request and your capacity. A side note in your process documents that clearly outlines what’s included.
When Personal Growth Becomes Business Growth
Running a creative business is deeply personal. Our mental health, physical health, and personal experiences all show up in the way we work. A lot of the habits we develop in business are shaped by patterns we learned long before we sent our first invoice. The need to be liked, the fear of being seen as selfish, the tendency to see others’ needs as more urgent than our own, these don’t disappear when you become an entrepreneur.
That’s why learning to disappoint gracefully is such a critical skill. It’s not just about boundaries. It’s about personal growth. About making space for your own goals and your own problems. About understanding that you can offer nice things and kind gestures without sacrificing your cash flow or your creative energy.
And yes, a fear of rejection might still pop up from time to time. But when you respond with clarity and compassion, you slowly build evidence that things don’t fall apart when you honor your needs. The world doesn’t end. Most of the time, your client thanks you for being honest. And the next time it’s a little easier.
You’re Not the Whole World — Thankfully!
One of the biggest lightbulb moments I had was this: I’m not responsible for how everyone feels. I can’t prevent all disappointment. And that’s actually a good thing. Because when I stop trying to hold the whole world together, I finally have the space to do my best work.
There’s no easy way to let go of people-pleasing. But there are healthier ways to approach client relationships, healthier ways to protect your energy, and healthier ways to define what business success means for you.
If you’ve struggled with being the best friend, the good fit, the fixer, know that you’re not alone. A lot of creative business owners have walked this road. And the ones who learn to disappoint with grace? They usually end up doing the most meaningful work of their entire life.
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ABOUT THIS POST
This post is written by Donata Delano – A Professional Artist, Graphic Designer and Architect based in Canada and Mexico. She specializing in visual communication and web design, creating branding solutions and websites that are thoughtful, unique and aesthetically pleasing.
